The sun has set and we've stopped crying. It was as though the water behind the ferry was encouraging us, the setting sun egging us on. At the port I said goodbye to what we often referred to as "the four best friends that anyone could have". I started crying first, which prompted Angela to say "Chloe, stop being over dramatic." within minutes she was more hysterical than any of us. So the four of us who left Paros together sat in silence and watched what had been so familiar become barely visible. We ate chicken nuggets and chocolate chip cookies, and tried to figure out the last time anything was this sad.
Two days ago I had my last meeting with George Crane. He wanted to talk more about the direction of my book. Who I was writing it for, how it was being organized, and eventually, where it ends. To that question I did not have a concrete answer. I knew I wanted the book to be mostly consumed with what happened before I was twenty, but I had never come up with an exact ending point. It wasn't until I pulled away from Paros on the ferry that it became clear, this is where it ends, when I realized that being on this island enabled me to let it all go and put it into words. In three short months I rewound and looked at my life through an entirely new lens. I can't pinpoint what allowed for this, but it only seems appropriate that the end of the book coincides with a distinct moment of clarity.
***writing this at the athens airport, 3:30AM, please excuse any typos :)
It's "interesting" returning "home" after your universe has shifted, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteAs we sat and talked over lunch in Madison with you, Chloe, Beth and I both suspected that Greece was a transitional experience for you. I'm now realizing what a momentous life transition it actually was ... Using yoga metaphor, it seems you left the States for Greece with your consciousness at one chakra and returned 3 months later with your consciousness moved up to a higher chakra (And I'll bet that everyone here back home in the States and in Mexico is assuming this is still pre-Greece Chloe and interacting with you as such ....)
Endings... When Laura Bush was leaving the White House, Michelle Obama gifted her a blank journal. In it was inscribed this brief note from her: "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. Yet that will be the beginning," It is wonderful to be reconnected with you at the start of a new beginning...