Bittersweet

My last day in Mexico included a trip to the lavender farm, a 3 mile jog with my trusty bodyguard Davis, the purchase of 3 kilos of fresh strawberries, and a wide array of strawberry creations (strawberry sorbet, mini strawberry pies, strawberry jam)!

Allowing...Easier Said Than Done

Over the last two years or so, the conversation of allowing for life and whatever it has in store has been very prevelant in my family. Whether it be concerning the problems that arise when you have siblings that are half of your age, moving to a new house or country, or overcoming racial stigma, allowing for the things that come our way is a necessary struggle. This is a major hurdle for me regardless of the situation, but at the same time it is something that I am committed to achieving.

Just after I broke my leg in the Autumn of 2009, I was laying in bed on my computer (as there wasn't much to do), when I began to download podcasts of all kinds. I started listening to recordings from Buddhists centers where people would engage in discussion following meditation.One specific podcast stuck with me. They were on the subject of grief, a topic most people can relate to on some level, and one I thought was especially pertinent at the time since I was trying to swallow the fact that I had lost the season I anticipated for 10 months in a matter of seconds. Among other things, they talked about being with sadness, and allowing for its presence, recognizing it's there and that it is a part of life's constant cycle.

It was all flowing nicely but the mention of one specific example struck at every appropriate heartstring. The speaker quoted a book that was discussing how scientists have measured the sound waves outside of cocoons and determined that the caterpillar in the cocoon is actually screaming in pain. From this we can gather that while transformation is often a painful process, it turns into something beautiful- a butterfly. I listened to the two minute explanation multiple times and decided that was a necessary point to live by.

This last November, my sister came to Minnesota to visit, and while I had told her the story during her pregnancy (6 months earlier and definitely necessary timing), I reminded her of it and proposed and image of a tattoo symbolizing the concept with

the word "allow" running down the cocoon. Three days later, we had the tattoo, though in different spots and with slightly different details.

As I approach yet another hiatus from my mom and sister, two people I consider to be a part of me, I am constantly reminding myself to allow for the space between us as it will be that much sweeter when I see them again. Along with that, I am allowing for my time in Greece to be an adventure in which I will try my hardest not to be attached to the outcome.

Basically, I feel as though the problems in our lives, regardless of their size or relative importance, are a direct result of a lack of allowance. It is now my life mission to minimize if not eliminate that small-minded behavior.