Clarity in Leaving

The sun has set and we've stopped crying. It was as though the water behind the ferry was encouraging us, the setting sun egging us on. At the port I said goodbye to what we often referred to as "the four best friends that anyone could have". I started crying first, which prompted Angela to say "Chloe, stop being over dramatic." within minutes she was more hysterical than any of us. So the four of us who left Paros together sat in silence and watched what had been so familiar become barely visible. We ate chicken nuggets and chocolate chip cookies, and tried to figure out the last time anything was this sad.

Two days ago I had my last meeting with George Crane. He wanted to talk more about the direction of my book. Who I was writing it for, how it was being organized, and eventually, where it ends. To that question I did not have a concrete answer. I knew I wanted the book to be mostly consumed with what happened before I was twenty, but I had never come up with an exact ending point. It wasn't until I pulled away from Paros on the ferry that it became clear, this is where it ends, when I realized that being on this island enabled me to let it all go and put it into words. In three short months I rewound and looked at my life through an entirely new lens. I can't pinpoint what allowed for this, but it only seems appropriate that the end of the book coincides with a distinct moment of clarity.

***writing this at the athens airport, 3:30AM, please excuse any typos :)

New Direction

It's been a while since I posted an update on my life, and as can be expected, many things have changed. I am approaching my last week of a near two-month stay in Mexico with my family, and although it feels like I just got here, in retrospect, quite a few things have happened.

As usual, our holiday was sabotaged by yet another case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and instead of sitting around the tree on Christmas Eve, I got a phone call from my mother screaming "Call the FBI Chloe!" in response to my stepfather being arrested by corrupt police. I am starting to appreciate the days in between "important holidays" opposed to operating with the rest of the world on the reverse schedule in the interest of avoiding any more major disappointment. New Years day marked the turn around as the family christened the brand new, chemical-free

pool; we swam all day and listened to an eclectic mix over the outdoor speaker system. The next few weeks had less drama, but don't be fooled, we were not low on entertainment.

I will be returning to Minnesota (where the average temperature right now is not above 10 degrees) in a week to train with my soccer team and gather my things before leaving for the Greek Islands to study abroad at the end of February. Each night before bed my mind is occupied with the many possible outcomes this trip may hold:

• I will live in total bliss and relaxation, a block from the beach, while learning another way to approach writing, photography, and life.

That is actually the only outcome I have been imagining, mixed in with snippets of stress, home-sickness, and a thirst for endless traveling. I am manifesting that while having two sides of my family live in two separate countries has been slightly upsetting at times, it has forced me to adapt to living in a foreign place for long periods of time while learning to refer to that place as "home".

Catch ya later Mexico, here I come Greece!

Mission Statement

What do I know? I know the ground under my feet, the roof over my head, and a nuclear group of friends and family. I know that I will have beautiful children who will reside in countless locations across the universe and that they will learn how to be in life opposed to simply getting through it. At 19 years old though, I am in no position to impede on the growth of anyone, let alone a child when I have not grown enough myself. I feel as though to grow is to learn that you are one out of very many, and that the world spreads far beyond the threshold of your front door. That is what I plan to do, experience the far beyond and encounter the very many while abandoning the comfort zone I have created over the last 19 years. My name is Chloe Zola. I was born and raised in Saint Paul, Minnesota in seemingly untraditional circumstances. To my friends, peers, and classmates, the artistic lifestyle of my parents has always seemed unrealistic and unconventional. We do not go to church, save our money, or hide our emotions; instead we "Christmas" in the tropics, buy nice things, and scream... quite a bit. My split-level family, as I refer to them is composed of a spirited mother always looking for a new creative adventure, a Jewish father finding his calling in art and Ebay, a Bajan stepfather who appreciates life's simplicities, and four beautiful children resulting from our parent's rollercoaster lifestyle.



































I have been raised to appreciate good food, creative thought, big families, and movement, in every sense of the word. I have lived under 11 fabulous roofs and traveled to numerous states and countries. All of this has brought me to where I am now, college. A "holding ground" according to some, a concept I have come to despise. Why be held for upward of 4 years in one location, focusing on one area of study? Especially in this "economic crisis" the idea of college in my mind seems more and more ridiculous every day. For a surgeon or an architect, I can see how endless hours inside a 4 million page book might be necessary and somewhat rewarding, but for someone who is passionate about art and writing...how can my work live to it's fullest potential inside the four walls of a professor's grading scale? I have not failed out of college, or been rejected all together, in fact I have experienced the exact opposite. I attend an accredited private University on soccer and academic scholarship. During my freshmen year I was offered scholarship money to join the ranks of an art major as well as highly encouraged to follow my talent in writing to a masters program out east. I am not saying this to brag but to explain that my motivation to drop out of college stems far beyond the resentment of a failed student. I fear that if I continue living in my comfort zone and become accustom to praise from one group of people, my scope on life will soon shrink and lose the urge to grow and learn. I recently read an article about the "Gypset movement":

Gypset (Gypsy+jet set) is about an emerging group of artists, musicians, fashion designers, surfers, and bon vivants– who lead semi-nomadic, unconventional lives. They are people I’ve met–or been inspired by– in my travels who have perfected a high-low approach to life that fuses the freelance and nomadic wile of a gypsy with the sophistication and global references of the jet set. Its an alternative way of
traveling and living that’s based more on creativity then money.

www.gypset.com

Either this article caught me in a vital time of transitional thought, or the idea simply pulled at all the right heart strings, but I am inspired to live a similar lifestlye. I will not be known as a college drop-out but a "Gypset" drop-in if you will. A "drop-in" on the happenings in the rest of the world opposed to that of my neighborhood all the while learning the necessary tools to be successful.



“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” - Miriam Beard