Clarity in Leaving

The sun has set and we've stopped crying. It was as though the water behind the ferry was encouraging us, the setting sun egging us on. At the port I said goodbye to what we often referred to as "the four best friends that anyone could have". I started crying first, which prompted Angela to say "Chloe, stop being over dramatic." within minutes she was more hysterical than any of us. So the four of us who left Paros together sat in silence and watched what had been so familiar become barely visible. We ate chicken nuggets and chocolate chip cookies, and tried to figure out the last time anything was this sad.

Two days ago I had my last meeting with George Crane. He wanted to talk more about the direction of my book. Who I was writing it for, how it was being organized, and eventually, where it ends. To that question I did not have a concrete answer. I knew I wanted the book to be mostly consumed with what happened before I was twenty, but I had never come up with an exact ending point. It wasn't until I pulled away from Paros on the ferry that it became clear, this is where it ends, when I realized that being on this island enabled me to let it all go and put it into words. In three short months I rewound and looked at my life through an entirely new lens. I can't pinpoint what allowed for this, but it only seems appropriate that the end of the book coincides with a distinct moment of clarity.

***writing this at the athens airport, 3:30AM, please excuse any typos :)

New Direction

It's been a while since I posted an update on my life, and as can be expected, many things have changed. I am approaching my last week of a near two-month stay in Mexico with my family, and although it feels like I just got here, in retrospect, quite a few things have happened.

As usual, our holiday was sabotaged by yet another case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and instead of sitting around the tree on Christmas Eve, I got a phone call from my mother screaming "Call the FBI Chloe!" in response to my stepfather being arrested by corrupt police. I am starting to appreciate the days in between "important holidays" opposed to operating with the rest of the world on the reverse schedule in the interest of avoiding any more major disappointment. New Years day marked the turn around as the family christened the brand new, chemical-free

pool; we swam all day and listened to an eclectic mix over the outdoor speaker system. The next few weeks had less drama, but don't be fooled, we were not low on entertainment.

I will be returning to Minnesota (where the average temperature right now is not above 10 degrees) in a week to train with my soccer team and gather my things before leaving for the Greek Islands to study abroad at the end of February. Each night before bed my mind is occupied with the many possible outcomes this trip may hold:

• I will live in total bliss and relaxation, a block from the beach, while learning another way to approach writing, photography, and life.

That is actually the only outcome I have been imagining, mixed in with snippets of stress, home-sickness, and a thirst for endless traveling. I am manifesting that while having two sides of my family live in two separate countries has been slightly upsetting at times, it has forced me to adapt to living in a foreign place for long periods of time while learning to refer to that place as "home".

Catch ya later Mexico, here I come Greece!